11 Tips for Cooling off After a Confrontation

       from the BeliefNet website
 

We all try to keep our cool and stop anger and hostility from infiltrating our sense of inner peace, but sometimes—whether we rashly lose our tempers or are provoked into a righteous confrontation—we find ourselves in an argument. During the fight, our endorphins pump, our faces flush, our hands might shake, and our hearts pound.

But what about afterwards? How can we harness our endorphins, faces, hands, and hearts and re-assemble that inner peace that was shattered when the argument reared its ugly head? 

We asked you, Beliefnet’s readers, for your best tips, and combined them with some ideas from experts. So take a deep breath and click on for 11 quick ways to calm down after an argument. 

1.  Take a Recovery Walk

I take a walk. While I am walking, I think about the situation and what just happened. After we both are calm I recoup myself and talk to him ask: was that even worth it to argue? Did it really need to go that far? And what was the whole argument about again? Then we talk, laugh it off, and become one piece again.
–Veronika Neou via Facebook

2.  Tear up Paper

The simple activity of shredding up paper with both hands can keep you distracted and help relieve those fleeting thoughts of anger.
– Sabah Karimi via Associated Content

3. Take It Out on the Couch

I have this big orange plastic bat, and I beat the couch until I am laughing. I just moved, think I need to find it again….
–Linda Ledford via Facebook

4.  Burn Vanilla or Lavender Candles

Vanilla scents are calming and soothing, while lavender also encourages sleep. Taking a whiff of these powerful scents can help you de-stress and remove yourself from the tension just long enough to simmer down.
– Sabah Karimi via Associated Content

5.  Only Tell the Story a Few Times

After a recent argument, I vented about what happened to my sister. Then my mother. Then my mother-in-law. Then some friends. Then (again) to my husband. I think that was a mistake--not a mistake to share the story, but a mistake to repeat it again and again. All that did was get me worked up and indignant all over again. Instead, tell the story to a very inner circle, and to others who know you had an argument, either have a one-sentence summary or just ask them to support you in calming down.
– Holly Rossi via Fresh Living

6.  Shake Your Shoulders

Most of us collect tension in the areas in the back of the neck, shoulders, and upper body. Next time you're having a tense moment, notice how your shoulders may be hunched in and how the muscles are contracting. Shaking your shoulders will give you a much-needed posture adjustment, helping you breathe naturally and calming you down.
– Sabah Karimi via Associated Content

7.  Let It Out…And Move On

I remind myself: Hiss, spit, and get over it.
–Karen Cloutier via Facebook

8.  Respect Different Opinions

I find that it is hard sometimes for people to realize that an argument is an expression of difference of opinion, and we all are entitled to our own opinion. That doesn't mean that either of us is wrong, just different. I try to remind myself of this: it is not always what you say, but how you say it, so I try to say it with God’s guidance and a pure heart. That helps me to remain calm during and after an argument.
–Wilma Burgess via Facebook

9.  Breathe It Out

I count to ten, then twenty, and if I'm still not calm, I have to literally run until I'm out of breath.
–Antonia Wahsise via Facebook

10.  Choose Your Battles Carefully

First, realize when you simply can't change a thing...then pick the battles that are important to you...that's it! People can be difficult, even yourself...so stop it early!
–Patricia Montgomery via Facebook

11.  Heal Thyself

I do Reiki, put my hands over my heart, and can't possibly stay angry that way.
–Sara A. Mann via Facebook