I don't feel 'right'...
i can't explain it well...
i don't understand it either.
i haven't been terribly well for quite some time now.
physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally...
i think i'm about as wrong as i can be.
i can't keep fighting with my own thoughts and feelings every waking moment -it is exhausting.
i want to give up.
but that's selfish too.
it seems i'm damned if i do and damned if i don't.
damned to lead a sad existence (if it can even be called that) where i upset others day and daily
or
damned to ruin everyone else's days by ending my life at my own hand.
the clear-cut 'logic' for me is that to no longer exist would be easier for everyone else as it would be just one final selfishness...then they'd get some sort of 'normality' back...
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