2013

The phrase "start as you mean to go on" is bouncing through my head and i figure if i don't make myself go to sleep i will listen to the fact that i can't go on so don't want to start 2013.

i have the means, motive and have been fighting my illogical logic for quite some time now...

i will fight.

i am not as ugly as i imagine.

i KNOW others have it worse...

i have to fight because no one can pick up the pieces if i were to do what would make the pain stop.

they'd carry on, sure, but i'm not so sure you 'get over' any death, least of all when it's at the person's own hands...