in hospital

Slipped and fell quite spectacularly 8 days ago.Struggled to breathe properly since. Thought it was musculoskeletal trauma like last time so retry much ignored it as best I could. Was making a 3D nativity  scene with 4 of my nieces and nephews 3days ago and realised how wheezy and how much I was struggling. Had been using nebuliser since falling and used it as soon as the wee yins left. Relief for only 30 mins. Called mental health crisis team because my physical health was really impacting on my mental health and I figured out of hours would hunt me. The crisis team told me to call and see then call them back and let them know what happened. I did. Out of hours were organising a house call. I called  them back as promised -crisslis team that is. Doctor called wanted to see me pronto so sent patient transport to get me. Got there with blue lips so they sat me on nebuliser and called ambulance. Been in since. Only day 3 but am in an open-plan ward. I hate it. I want to be in a corner. Or better yet  smaller ward...or even BETTER yet...my own room. I cut my legs and shoulders last night. I was like an animal. I couldn't stop myself. For ages. I hate me. I disgust me. I do not want to be here. Or anywhere. I can't bear to see these elderly ladies. I'll not get like that. I'll not get to that stage...because I'll not get to that age.