My life...general rantings will likely be the most frequent things found here! = )
Thursday, 18 December 2014
Help for the lost cause...oh, riiiight...
I've reached that epically horrific moment where my eyeballs are ON FIRE ππ₯ so much from lack of sleep π΄π« that plucking them out doesn't seem completely unreasonable...
Social worker called to say she'd be arriving within 45 minutes this morning; which she did...didn't want her too though...and sister was ignoring texts... So sat with a plaster the whole time going minute-by-minute...
Social worker hates me π
SAMH worker arrived as soon as S/W had sat down...
Missed buzzer due to time to put boot on blah blah...
In a nutshell, my support from SAMH will be taken away by March, and halved until then...
What the actual fuck?!
I just wish someone would kill me so my family and friends were left without thinking me s completely selfish bastard.
I hate myself enough for EVERONE EVERYWHERE; I don't need help to be hated...
Social worker called to say she'd be arriving within 45 minutes this morning; which she did...didn't want her too though...and sister was ignoring texts... So sat with a plaster the whole time going minute-by-minute...
Social worker hates me π
SAMH worker arrived as soon as S/W had sat down...
Missed buzzer due to time to put boot on blah blah...
In a nutshell, my support from SAMH will be taken away by March, and halved until then...
What the actual fuck?!
I just wish someone would kill me so my family and friends were left without thinking me s completely selfish bastard.
I hate myself enough for EVERONE EVERYWHERE; I don't need help to be hated...
Thursday, 11 December 2014
Can't post because I just feel like nothing...
Utterly raging... Haven't felt 'right' for a while and have been fighting myself but have been being successful... JUST GOT A FRIKKIN LETTER through the door for a fine for pulling into a bus lane to use my inhaler...my blood is boiling!!!!!!!
I have ridiculous agoraphobia and paranoia and hadn't been out in quite a while...this has just added fuel to the fire...
Speaking of which I want to now go set the council buildings on fire...insert whole bunch of expletives here...
I had to pull over to find my inhaler...I had to fkn do it then and there and well, bus lanes weren't important -wouldn't I pull into the only FUCKING section with a camera?!!!! ...
... I'm so angry with myself...
...this goes into the bag of stupid reasons not to go out... And reasons to drive into a polis (don't worry, I don't drive when I feel that way...I barely move when I feel that way...Pfft I barely move!!!!!)
AAARGH I'm so fucking angry!!!!!!
I thought it would be better to feel anything than that emptiness the last wee while I've had...but now I want to cut arms...been fighting whilst hollow anyway now I've got even less of an ability to fend those thoughts off!!!!! Aaaaargh!!!!!
I have ridiculous agoraphobia and paranoia and hadn't been out in quite a while...this has just added fuel to the fire...
Speaking of which I want to now go set the council buildings on fire...insert whole bunch of expletives here...
I had to pull over to find my inhaler...I had to fkn do it then and there and well, bus lanes weren't important -wouldn't I pull into the only FUCKING section with a camera?!!!! ...
... I'm so angry with myself...
...this goes into the bag of stupid reasons not to go out... And reasons to drive into a polis (don't worry, I don't drive when I feel that way...I barely move when I feel that way...Pfft I barely move!!!!!)
AAARGH I'm so fucking angry!!!!!!
I thought it would be better to feel anything than that emptiness the last wee while I've had...but now I want to cut arms...been fighting whilst hollow anyway now I've got even less of an ability to fend those thoughts off!!!!! Aaaaargh!!!!!
Thursday, 9 October 2014
Youtube vlog on mental health/just me in general
I've wanted to do one for AAAAGES!!
But then BANG goes my anonymity...
I don't feel I should hide for my sake, but for that of the little ones in the family...
Plus...
I kind of go off on tangents easily...
That said, i still keep coming back to this thought...have done for years now...
Perhaps it's time to stop hiding...
But then BANG goes my anonymity...
I don't feel I should hide for my sake, but for that of the little ones in the family...
Plus...
I kind of go off on tangents easily...
That said, i still keep coming back to this thought...have done for years now...
Perhaps it's time to stop hiding...
My albino hamster of 3 and a half years has been put to sleep..
Where are you?
My beloved albino hamster hasn't long passed away and I properly cleaned all his stuff...my head and heart are fighting though...it's only been a week...
I hate waste and wouldn't want it to just sit in a cupboard...but...
My beloved albino hamster hasn't long passed away and I properly cleaned all his stuff...my head and heart are fighting though...it's only been a week...
I hate waste and wouldn't want it to just sit in a cupboard...but...
Wednesday, 20 August 2014
In an uncontrollable rage
Spent hours waiting on a delivery waste of SAMH time and then got a text and email to say I wasn't in to sign for it and they'd put a card through -eh?! Wtf -called them VOICE OPTIONS EVENTUALLY GOT A BITCH AND I just WENT BERSERK started throwing shit EVERYFICKINGWHERE SAMH WOMAN WAS THE NICE ONE SO I CALMED DOWN A bit more...
I'm now with my 11 year old niece who had 2 hospital appointments and had to miss school today...
I NEVER stay angry round kids...
I've ALWAYS swore by that...
But now?!!!
Now...RIGHT NOW I WANT TO CUT MY ARMS TO BITS and she is sitting right opposite me in a public cafe ... And I don't care...
I am
So so so angry...
I am raging with myself
At these feelings
More
Than i am at the fact that the company messed me about and won't tell me who the delivery is from and then them saying i wasn't in -thus, effectively calling me a
Liar, and THEN saying my postcode doesn't exist...
Wtf? I don't exist?
So to whom did you try to deliver??????aaargh...they won't even say who the delivery is from...
Fuckwitz
Thursday, 24 July 2014
I give the fuck up
Swearwords swearwords...blue badge expires tomorrow and they're being pure swearwords...I can't call anyone anymore raaargh
... point in anything...
... I only just got it in September!!!!!!!!!!
They are wrong and now I'm getting a bunch of nonsense about admin fees and I sent the wrong stuff and blah blah blah I DO NOT CARE that the games have slowed then down it whatever I NEED HELP...
Why are they doing this...
Why are all the "powers that be" throwing brick walls in my way and my body doing this half-life thing???!!
Why won't it just give in then nobody needs to be angry or sad or whatever...
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
Unwell again *sweats and shakes*
This area is doing my head in now...
This flat...
These 4 walls...
This life...
I just can't take it anymore...
Listening to fighting;
Listening to parties til stupid o'clock;
Watching people being stabbed;
Watching people being chased with a variety of weapons;
Hearing fights over nothing;
Hearing the people above me vomiting every morning...not wanting to eat anything because of that...;
Someone constantly showering at FREAKING 3am?!!!!!!;
Having to talk to the police regularly about the incidents that occur here...
Get called up as a witness repeatedly and being told that they won't shield or protect me because I'm "only" a witness?!! I'm a fu€*ing nothing is what I am...
And ridiculously vulnerable (and obvious!) if they don't shield me...so I returned to cutting...thanks guys...fucking ba$tard$...
You don't "tell on" people in my area
...no freaking wonder?!!!!
And the bloody polis I've encountered have been a richt shower!!!
but tae fick wi' them aw is my mood...
...some sick B*+€# told the 98 year old beside me that she had a parcel she needed to sign for ...
She's on a rollator...
The B*+€# then shoved her over when she opened the door and stole her bag with a substantial amount of money...
that's why I've been quiet...
I ALWAYS look out the window or peep hole to be aware of surroundings as
I know how vulnerable that wee lady and I am...
I'm torn between being raging with myself at not hearing anything and now being worse with my agoraphobia...
it wasn't even me who was mugged!
I'm...
Argh I don't know...
...GGRRRR
Saturday, 19 July 2014
19 July 2014 _my eyes (heterochromia Iridis, coloboma and corectopia)... And my head...swirly brain time...
"Been there, done it (due to being teased relentlessly for as long as I can remember and it took MORE THAN 25 years to start to love my eyes..."
...
I NEVER get questions as an adult...just horrified looks and I can FEEL that I'm being judged -I have mobility issues too...I have crutches (that I rarely use because I'm partially sighted and fall often); a rollator (like a zimmer, but all wheels...it's easiest to use) and a wheelchair...
I'm not doing so well mentally because all if these things lap over each other...if I fall and someone helps me up, they almost so a double take when they see my eyes and I've had ONE person get a fright and let me fall again so they could run away -perhaps they thought I'd done it as I fell and thought they'd get into trouble???...
It has now left me in a pretty erratic mental state -I have very profound agoraphobia...I rarely go out anymore -not even to the bin chute and it's on my floor, only through two doors...but I'm pretty much a basket case on a great many days...
...
Today is NOT one of those days...since I'm able to explain it...but this "good" day has been spent on my back trying to breathe (I have pretty complicated asthma too!)...it very much seems as though the 'helpers' in my country (Scotland) do not want me to get any help...they say I must choose one of my health problems to get help with...they don't seems to care that all impact on the rest if me and that I AM A PERSON NOT A NUMBER OR STATISTIC!!!
They are
Monday, 26 May 2014
"Girl, Interrupted" by Susanna Kaysen *Book in comparison to film"
Girl,Interrupted
By Susanna Kaysen
Book vs. Movie
Having seen the movie years before I read the book, I was shocked by how different each version of Girl, Interrupted was. Susanna Kaysen wrote Girl, Interrupted as a recount of her eighteen months as McLean Hospital in the 1960s. James Marigold adapted the memoir into a film in 1999 staring Winona Ryder as Susanna and Angelina Jolie as Lisa Rowe. The movie is loosely based off the book, at best. The differences between the two are so significant, that they are two different works completely.
Lisa’s character in the movie is a much more prominent piece of the story than she is in the book. She is mentioned throughout the book, but doesn’t get nearly as much attention as she does in the movie. Kaysen wrote about her experiences with insight on the lives of the other patients and their histories. The movie didn’t focus long on the other girls.
More importantly though, are the incredibly ridiculous scenes added in the movie. The girls are seen sneaking down to the hospital’s basement late at night to go bowling and play pop music. The hospital was under strict watch, one section of the book was even dedicated to the constant checks done by the staff. The tight policies of the hospital would’ve made it impossible for the girls to sneak down, especially if they were so loud. An even bigger plot difference though was the escape scene. Susanna and Lisa plot to escape the hospital so they can move to Disney World and work as Cinderella and Snow White. They succeed and spend some time at a former patient’s house. Lisa had attempted to escape many times in the book, but nothing remotely close to that scene ever happened.
Even the depiction of the hospital was inaccurate to what Kaysen wrote about. The hospital in the movie seems almost campy. It’s bright and lively. It almost seems like a joke. In Kaysen’s version the hospital seems frightening and unwelcoming. One of the first people she encountered was a girl painting herself in her own feces. Grotesque, but accurate scenes like that weren’t in the movie, probably so a more sensitive audience could enjoy it.
The movie was flawed and inaccurate, however it is entertaining. I really liked it when I originally watched it because I didn’t have prior knowledge of what actually happened. Reading the book really made the movie seem insincere. The cast did an excellent job portraying the characters, but it should’ve been written in respect to what had actually happened. The only way to enjoy both is to just think of them as different stories just with the same name.
I think if I was Susanna Kaysen I would be really unhappy with the way it turned out. She experienced eighteen long horrible months in McLean and to make the movie so inaccurate and to not take her story seriously seems like a slap in the face. Her time in the hospital burdened her with a stigma of insanity for the rest of her life. She was wrongly sent to the hospital, and the movie makes all of her trauma seem to be a joke. It’s just disrespectful.
References
Kaysen, S. 1993. Girl, interrupted. New York: Turtle Bay Books.
Wick, D. Konrad, C.(Producer), & Mangold, D.(Director). (1999). Girl, Interrupted [motion picture]. United States: Columbia Pictures."
(From "http://girlinterruptedm3s13.wordpress.com/", accessed on 26 May 2014)
Tuesday, 13 May 2014
Quotes I've Found that Reflect my Thoughts
"The dark, the light.
What was the difference? Nightmares had reinforced themselves in each"
~The Book Thief", Markus Zusak.
Saturday, 12 April 2014
"Celebrities" with a variety of heterochromia
KATE BOSWORTH
MILA KUNIS
(Reuters)
MAX SCHERZER
ALICE EVE
JOSH HENDERSON
HENRY CAVILL
JANE SEYMOUR
SIMON PEGG
Friday, 11 April 2014
How to Cope With Intense Emotions -Dr. Jonice Webb
As per, when it's not my word -I have credited who HAS written it.)
How to Cope With Intense Emotions
We human beings struggle with many things. Life brings us problems, conflicts and complex situations. However, as a therapist, I often see that one of the most difficult things for many people to cope with in their lives is their own emotions.
There is not a person alive who hasn’t felt severe emotional pain at one point or another. So the question is, other than pure escape – via any of the means listed above – what are we to do when we feel terrible?
Here are some important guidelines to keep in mind:
• Emotional pain is not permanent. It always passes.
• Escaping or avoiding emotional pain only causes it to subside temporarily, if at all. Then it will come back, often more intensely.
• Emotions pass better and more permanently when they are tolerated and dealt with than when they are simply escaped from.
• Sitting with an unpleasant feeling, trying to put it into words, and thinking about the cause of it are all ways to tolerate and work through it.
Let’s take a look at how coping might be via the Escape It Method vs. the Tolerate It Method.
LIZZIE
Soon, it will be Thanksgiving. Lizzie, a 26-year-old graduate student, lacked the funds to fly home to spend it with her family. She was disappointed when her parents did not offer to pay for her plane ticket. But not surprised, as they often let her down. However, Lizzie was delighted to learn that Grace, her best friend at college, would be spending Thanksgiving there as well. They made plans to spend Thanksgiving Day together. Then, at the last minute, Grace decided to go home to her family after all.
Lizzie was not only surprised; she also felt hurt. Grace didn’t invite Lizzie to go with her, and she wasn’t even very apologetic about how her change in plans affected Lizzie. Lizzie knows that she will be all alone, feeling uncared for and unloved on this major holiday.
Escape:
On Thanksgiving Day, Lizzie sleeps as late as she can (sleep can be a way to avoid uncomfortable feelings). She finally gets up around noon, feeling terrible: alone, unloved, uncared for, and on some level, rejected by both her family and Grace.
Lizzie immediately goes on her favorite shopping website. She spends several hours looking at sweaters, skirts, tops and shoes. She puts a total of 15 items in her cart. Impulsively and without thinking, she presses the PAY NOW button. She sits for a few minutes and basks in the warm glow of the new clothes that she is imagining arriving over the next week.
Suddenly, she realizes that she is still alone on Thanksgiving Day. Those bad feelings flow back in. Lizzie starts trying to think of her next escape mode to carry her through the rest of the day. She realizes that it’s after 4:00. “That’s late enough to open up a bottle of wine,” she thinks. So she does.
That night, Lizzie goes to bed feeling anesthetized by alcohol. But right before she falls asleep, she feels a deep regret for all of the money she charged on her credit card to purchase the clothes. She can tell that she will have a hangover tomorrow. And an uncomfortable realization hangs in the back of her mind, “I won’t feel any better tomorrow than I did today.”
Tolerate:
The night before Thanksgiving, Lizzie sits alone in her apartment. She thinks about what tomorrow will be like. She thinks to herself, “It’s going to suck. I am going to feel lonely and sad. How am I going to get through the day?”
She sits down with a piece of paper, and starts writing down things that she can do to cope. Lizzie writes the following items:
• Go for a run
• Call my sister and talk to her on the phone
• Bake a loaf of bread
• Write in my journal
On Thanksgiving Day, Lizzie gets up feeling lonely, hurt, rejected and sad. But she drags herself out of bed at 9 a.m. She reminds herself that this was expected. “Anyone in my shoes would feel this way,” she reminds herself. “Just because I feel it, that doesn’t make it true.” This helps her feel a bit better, and she has a bowl of cereal and goes for a long run.
While she’s running, Lizzie thinks about why her parents didn’t buy her a ticket home. She remembers her mother talking about money problems, and realizes that this could be part of the reason. This, again, helps her feel better.
Lizzie goes through the rest of her day going back and forth between bad feelings, thinking them through, reminding herself that they’re just feelings, and engaging in the activities on her list.
That night she goes to bed tired, a bit sad, but also feeling proud of herself for having made it through the day. Tomorrow her roommate will return, and things will feel back on-track.
Yes, escape can be easier and more immediately gratifying. But it allows no opportunity to confront, work through, and think through your feelings. And, unfortunately, escaped feelings don’t really go away. They simply lurk below the surface awaiting an opportunity to rise again. And they will.
("How to Cope With Intense Emotions"; Dr. Jonice Webb; http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art22358.asp; accessed on 11 April 2014)
Tuesday, 25 March 2014
being miss cling fling
Ah my head swaps the cling film -isn't it funny...
Someone I spoke to said it was great i felt like cling film -because i must feel protected
...it's not protection for me...
...I'm see-through and nobody even knows
When I'm there or not -til I've not done something they've wanted;
Easily broken;
never perfect -or even close,
and thrown away as soon as possible
Someone I spoke to said it was great i felt like cling film -because i must feel protected
...it's not protection for me...
...I'm see-through and nobody even knows
When I'm there or not -til I've not done something they've wanted;
Easily broken;
never perfect -or even close,
and thrown away as soon as possible
Thursday, 13 March 2014
PARANOIA AND BLEURGH
my paranoia is through the roof just now -i have illogical logic but can see it's insane -so does that mean i'm not?....for instance, i was followed by 10 different police vehicles the last time i was out...my friend was all "oh calm down Maria, it's just coincidence" but by number 8 she was joining my tune...
ALSO, i broke my ankle 4 years ago and still use walking aids and am on mahahasive doses of pain and nerve meds plus all my others...and i took a bad fall last Tuesday and have crawled since..the doc said they'd get back to me...needed to wait for my pain management team's say so before messing about with meds...pain management want to wait for psychotherapist's advice before doing anything -SHE'S BEEN OFF ILL SINCE MAY....WTF....RRAAARGH...THEY'RE ALL IN ON IT SO I GET ME AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY ME-NESS...see...this both makes and does not make sense to me just now...how is that even possible?!!
Oh, and i'm STILL waiting on crisis getting in touch....that's 8days now...
THEY ARE ALL IN ON THIS!!!
ALSO, i broke my ankle 4 years ago and still use walking aids and am on mahahasive doses of pain and nerve meds plus all my others...and i took a bad fall last Tuesday and have crawled since..the doc said they'd get back to me...needed to wait for my pain management team's say so before messing about with meds...pain management want to wait for psychotherapist's advice before doing anything -SHE'S BEEN OFF ILL SINCE MAY....WTF....RRAAARGH...THEY'RE ALL IN ON IT SO I GET ME AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY ME-NESS...see...this both makes and does not make sense to me just now...how is that even possible?!!
Oh, and i'm STILL waiting on crisis getting in touch....that's 8days now...
THEY ARE ALL IN ON THIS!!!
Friday, 7 March 2014
Diana Ross -Still waiting...
long story short...i'm just absolutely on
my a$$, you know?
...and desperate not to bring anyone and everyone down like dominoes with me...
so figured it was best to just shooosh...
been waiting on the crisis team to get in touch since GP asked them to at 10am on Tuesday...good grief -this is the CRISIS INTERVENTION in the UK (well, Glagsow anyway)...i'm on my knees and my brain has had to check out just so i'll BE HERE to BE HELPED....but i swear -if they say "what do you expect from us" like last time...there's a fair chance i'll smash something...
...and desperate not to bring anyone and everyone down like dominoes with me...
so figured it was best to just shooosh...
been waiting on the crisis team to get in touch since GP asked them to at 10am on Tuesday...good grief -this is the CRISIS INTERVENTION in the UK (well, Glagsow anyway)...i'm on my knees and my brain has had to check out just so i'll BE HERE to BE HELPED....but i swear -if they say "what do you expect from us" like last time...there's a fair chance i'll smash something...
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
A bad day
i'm thinking i need more help before i slip into complete insanity
but i don't know how to go about things
- what kind of help do i need - i don't know
- where do you go when you don't even know the answer to that...
--and even if i knew, i still wouldn't know where to turn
---and i'd stumble over my words and i hate calling people/companies/anyone...
- what kind of help do i need - i don't know
- where do you go when you don't even know the answer to that...
--and even if i knew, i still wouldn't know where to turn
---and i'd stumble over my words and i hate calling people/companies/anyone...
i cried openly in public as i wandered along gripping my rollator's brakes and having to stop from the pain in my leg ...
To get help they have this horrific 'personalisation' form
ever tried to fill one of THOSE in?!
THEY LEAVE ME FEELING...WELL... DE-PERSONALISED
...inhuman/subhuman/worthless/...like a leach or a failure..SICK
i
DO need more help than i am getting -but because i've basically become a
recluse over the last 4 years, the mental health problems started
stacking up
-it's a bit like a game of mental-illness-tetris in my head...and i'm losing...
-and it's now at the bit where the lines are all muddled over one anther and so high up that the music is rapid and stressful...
-it's a bit like a game of mental-illness-tetris in my head...and i'm losing...
-and it's now at the bit where the lines are all muddled over one anther and so high up that the music is rapid and stressful...
this becomes a BIG problem because, i have physical pain and walking/showering aids as wel as this utter emotional/mental breakdown occurring alongside it -and they are DEFINITELY linked and twisted so well together it seems they never will be going away...
i don't know if there is an agency that could/would help because sometimes i can just be flat on my back crying because of nerve pain OR emotional pain/mental exhaustion...
i don't know if there is an agency that could/would help because sometimes i can just be flat on my back crying because of nerve pain OR emotional pain/mental exhaustion...
today was both -and it was bad
Sunday, 2 March 2014
“I Hate Myself and I Want to Die”- Self Stigma
"Dec 30
Posted by prideinmadness
When you believe you are crazy, stupid, inadequate blah blah blah then what else do you really have? People come and go which is why you need to be able to find it within yourself to keep going.
The best way for me to show you what self stigma is, is through excerpts from my journals I wrote as a teenager which are rampant with stigma that I internalized.
“I’m fucked up.”
“I don’t want to quit [cutting] anymore. I can’t do it!…I’m totally insane! I’m going to tell my counsellor that I think I belong in a mental hospital…I’m sick…I’m a sad little whore.”
“FREAK”
“I’m just fucking stupid and fucked in the head!”
“I hate how I go crazy like that.”
“…this demon creature inside of me.”
“Sick little bitch”
“Just a sick little mind is what I have.”
“I’m not even Kristen right now, I’m someone else, I’m a monster.”
“If I was [my boyfriend] I would leave me.”
“I never thought of myself as selfish, but I guess I am.”
“Just a hopeless girl living in a hopeless world she put too much hope in.”
“I’m a shitty person, a shitty girlfriend, NO ONE CAN FUCKING LOVE ME!”
One of my journals is covered in words: Fake, Insane, Worthless, Ugly, Broken, Twised, Failure, Mental, Sick, Unwanted, Unloved and more.
You can see how believing these horrible things about youself can make recovering from a mental illness or a difficult experience near impossible. It’s this stigma that will lead to suicidal thoughts, attempts and unfortunately successful deaths.
When we help others build the strength to be confident in themselves and toss aside these destructive labels and beliefs then recovery can begin. When you believe in yourself then you’ll want to recover and it’s only through wanting recovery that it can actually happen.
Remember this isnt an individual problem. Soceity plays the biggest role in creating and keeping mental illness stigma alive. Stigma is damaging. People can’t go through life encountering barrier after barrier and not let it get to them. Do not think that when you call someone “crazy” or say things like, “mentally ill people scare me” that you are not hurting someone. You are. You are telling people to hate themselves and then we become sad when individuals, especially youth, commit suicide.
We can stop this. We need to do it together."
~(http://prideinmadness.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/i-hate-myself-and-i-want-to-die-self-stigma/, accessed on 2 March 2014)
Self harm distractions and tips
"Self Harm: Distractions and Coping Tips
by Addy1. An Emergency Box
This is an awesome idea I came across whilst browsing the net one day…and no, it’s not another name for a first aid kit! It’s a box you can whip out in an emergency chock full of happy, fun and exciting things which you can look at to distract yourself from all those self harm urges.
Get yourself a shoe box, gift box, cardboard box, cereal box and cram it full of:
- Photos of family, loved ones, friends, pets…etc…
- Crossword Puzzles, word searches, suduko puzzles…
- CDs of relaxing music…
- A small journal with pens, colouring pencils and crayons…
- Letters from family, loved ones, friends, pets…etc…
- A list of reasons not to self harm…
- Pictures and magazine clippings you like…
- Chocolate :p
- Hide letters in there which you don’t know about…
- Secreat little presents in there…
- Fill it with your favourite candy or sweets…
2. Join an online forum or support groupThere are numerous online forums out there who offer online support for people at times of crisis: DepressioNet and Psyke.Org are two examples. There are more examples in the links list on the right hand side of the page, or if you are a Facebook fiend, check out this list of groups you can join.
These groups and forums are full of people who have been in exactly the same situation as you so they can help and support you no matter what sort of mood you’re in.
3. Go to the Psyke forum and read the post “The Vagina Game”It’ll make you laugh your ass off and dispel any thought of self harm – then see if you can come up with any of your own.
4. [HAD TO DELETE AS I FOUND THIS ONE TRIGGERING!!!]addictive it may be, I’m not endorsing this one :p)
5. Dance!
6. Addict yourself to the iThink application.
It’s on Facebook, so you’ll need an account there. Share your opinions and go crazy with comments, it’s bloody addictive. Then add me as a friend and see how similar our opinions are!
7. Pick up the phone and phone a friend!
8. Do a survey!Here are some ones to start you off.
Distraction Survey #1: Random Fun
Distraction Survey #2: 119 Things About Me
Distraction Survey #3: 50 Random Questions
Distraction Survey #4: More Random Fun
9. Draw on yourself!
Grab some felt tips, pens, magic markers and go crazy by drawing all sorts of funky awesome piccies on your body. Got a boyfriend or girlfriend, strip ‘em and draw on them! Get them to drw [sic] on you! Drawing on yourself or consensual drawing with a partner is so much better than SI.
10. Write a list of things that might help curb those SI tendencies……and then post it as a highly enlightening blog post in the hope to inspire other people :p"
~(http://myjourneywithdepression.wordpress.com/2007/12/04/self-harm-distractions-and-coping-tips/?relatedposts_exclude=13243, accessed on 2 March 2014)
Self harm safety box
"How to create a self-harm safety box…
by AddyWhat was special about this box was on the inside, for I’d filled it with colouring pencils, rubber bands, bath salts, candy, a mini-colouring book, a couple of novels, a DVD and some (slightly more) risquΓ© images of the great Australian actress, Toni Pearen.
For this box was my safety box; a box I could turn to when my self-harm urges grew so intense that I needed some serious distraction to stop me from injuring myself.
Over the years I owned this box I lost track of how many times it prevented me from doing something stupid, how many times I cried over its contents or how many people I lied to about its true purpose. But, as with most things, time stole this box from me and ever since it was taken from my life, I’ve missed it on more occasions than I can count.
Of all the tricks I used to dissuade me from self-harm, this box was the most successful.
Because it was mine.
And I loved it.
Recently, courtesy of a self-harm support group, I’ve created a new safety box for me to turn to. A box I have once again filled with fun little items and distracting shenanigans to quell any self-harm urges that may occur. So today, as well as sharing my box with you all, I’m going to tell you how you can make your very own safety box.
How to make your very own self-harm* safety box
- All you need to start is a box. It can be an old shoebox, a gift box from your local giftware store or even a discarded cereal box. As long as it has four walls, a base and a lid, you’re good to go!
- Once you’ve got your box, the next step is to personalise it. For this you can cover it with contact, decorate it with funky wrapping paper or even paint it. Let your creativity soar…this is your box after all!
- The third step is to fill the box with items that will help you
regain control during periods of emotional distress. Think things that
make you happy. Think things that are tactile. Think things that trigger
your senses. Think things that cannot do you harm. This is your box, so whatever you decide to put in it will be personal to you, but here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Arts and crafts: colouring pencils, finger paint, plasticine, paper, water colours, brushes.
- Brainteasers and puzzles: a small jigsaw puzzle, word-searches, Sudoku.
- Fun and games: small toys, cuddly toys, travel board games, a pack of cards.
- Odds and ends: books, DVDs, luxurious bath products, essential oils, meaningful photos, candy.
- Once you’ve filled your box with all manner of exciting and smile-inducing items, simply store the box in a special, easy-to-remember place so that when things get rough you’ll know exactly where to find it!
Once your box has been completed and placed in special place, all you need to do is remember to use it should you ever become triggered and/or feel the urge to self-harm. When you come to use your box, make sure that you are in a private and safe place within your house (perhaps on your bed) and that the box and its contents are the only thing you have to hand…then just enjoy yourself! Go to town with colouring in, make cute monsters out of your play-dough or draw epic artworks upon the canvas of your body with a chunky red pen.
Remember, creating a self-harm safety box isn’t just about distracting you from the demons of self-harm, it’s about celebrating the awesomeness (and uniqueness) of you. Have fun with it, play with it, enjoy it and be good to yourself.
~(http://myjourneywithdepression.wordpress.com/2014/02/02/how-to-create-a-self-harm-safety-box/#comment-11279, accessed on 2 March 2014)
NEEDED TO COPY AND PASTE IT INCASE IT VANISHES -OR I CAN'T FIND IT AGAIN...
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