Thursday 11 December 2014

Can't post because I just feel like nothing...

Utterly raging... Haven't felt 'right' for a while and have been fighting myself but have been being successful... JUST GOT A FRIKKIN LETTER through the door for a fine for pulling into a bus lane to use my inhaler...my blood is boiling!!!!!!!
I have ridiculous agoraphobia and paranoia and hadn't been out in quite a while...this has just added fuel to the fire...

Speaking of which I want to now go set the council buildings on fire...insert whole bunch of expletives here...

I had to pull over to find my inhaler...I had to fkn do it then and there and well, bus lanes weren't important -wouldn't I pull into the only FUCKING section with a camera?!!!! ...

... I'm so angry with myself...

...this goes into the bag of stupid reasons not to go out... And reasons to drive into a polis (don't worry, I don't drive when I feel that way...I barely move when I feel that way...Pfft I barely move!!!!!)


AAARGH I'm so fucking angry!!!!!!

I thought it would be better to feel anything than that emptiness the last wee while I've had...but now I want to cut arms...been fighting whilst hollow anyway now I've got even less of an ability to fend those thoughts off!!!!! Aaaaargh!!!!!

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