I should stop asking for help
When will I ever learn
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Had arranged with SAMH support that the support would be mornings but it's been 12-2 each time coz the support worker says it's too hard for her to get to mine from where she lives -eh north if the city...hardly Timbuktu...
Pure pissed off with everything...
When will I ever learn
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Had arranged with SAMH support that the support would be mornings but it's been 12-2 each time coz the support worker says it's too hard for her to get to mine from where she lives -eh north if the city...hardly Timbuktu...
Pure pissed off with everything...
My friend came over for crisis team's first visit this time
It helped because she could explain better how I've struggled and the fact that i have nobody to call or message but her and emergency numbers and I can't keep doing that to either...
And she was able to explain that i worry that if I keep calling crisis and out of hours they'll take away my flat or not let me call them anymore...crisis team worker reassured me this won't happen and to keep calling them coz it's their job to help
It helped because she could explain better how I've struggled and the fact that i have nobody to call or message but her and emergency numbers and I can't keep doing that to either...
And she was able to explain that i worry that if I keep calling crisis and out of hours they'll take away my flat or not let me call them anymore...crisis team worker reassured me this won't happen and to keep calling them coz it's their job to help
I guess I'm worse than anyone anywhere just now...a burden and well I've a cheek to say I'm pro-life...
and all the drs keep saying I'm on the max painkillers and there's no more that can be done for my leg and now back too ...if I'm on max painkillers then why am I still in so much pain I can only sleep every second or sometimes third night?...
I can't really stand this and keep thinking there is a way to be pain-free...
All I'm saying keeps landing on deaf ears and they all seem in on it to get me to get me so they don't have me annoying them anymore...
I'm so weak and I've already tried to give up...clearly, unsuccessfully... = ( ...couldn't even get that right..
and all the drs keep saying I'm on the max painkillers and there's no more that can be done for my leg and now back too ...if I'm on max painkillers then why am I still in so much pain I can only sleep every second or sometimes third night?...
I can't really stand this and keep thinking there is a way to be pain-free...
All I'm saying keeps landing on deaf ears and they all seem in on it to get me to get me so they don't have me annoying them anymore...
I'm so weak and I've already tried to give up...clearly, unsuccessfully... = ( ...couldn't even get that right..
Next week's a fickin riot
Got GP appt and think it's the same horrible one I saw the other day...
I just had a cracker of an asthma attack...
Blue lips, the whole shebang...
Used nebuliser then lay on the couch thinking that was the wrong decision -should've done nothing...
it'd've gone down an ashtma-related death...
a tragic accident...
nobody would hate me...
it wouldn't have been classed as suicide...
I CANNOT DRAW!!!!!!!
Or write!!
It's driving me mad!!
I'M driving me mad!!!
If they call early tomorrow and I'm still in this state crisis will want to come out
I need some sleep I can't go on like this...
Got GP appt and think it's the same horrible one I saw the other day...
I just had a cracker of an asthma attack...
Blue lips, the whole shebang...
Used nebuliser then lay on the couch thinking that was the wrong decision -should've done nothing...
it'd've gone down an ashtma-related death...
a tragic accident...
nobody would hate me...
it wouldn't have been classed as suicide...
I CANNOT DRAW!!!!!!!
Or write!!
It's driving me mad!!
I'M driving me mad!!!
If they call early tomorrow and I'm still in this state crisis will want to come out
I need some sleep I can't go on like this...
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