The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ~Douglas Adams

• We live in strange times.
  We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Being able to glance out into this bewildering complexity of infinite recursion and say thing like, "Oh, hi, Ed! Nice tan. How's Carol?" involves a great deal of filtering skill for which all conscious entities have eventually to develop a capacity in order to protect themselves from the comtemplation of the chaos through which they see the and world tumble. So give your kid a break, okay?; Extract from Practical Parenting in a Fractally Demented Universe

• The universe is a lot more complicated than you might think even if you start from a position of thinking that its pretty damn complicated to begin with. - Mostly Harmless, The Guide, Mark II

• If I had two heads like you, Zaphod, I could have hours of fun banging them against a wall.
  • Radio Series.

• "It goes like this. Let's see now: 'Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen.' That's it. It's what you pray silently inside yourself anyway, so you may as well have it out in the open."
  Arthur: "Hmmm, Well, thank you - "
  Old Man: "There's another prayer that goes with it that's very important, so you'd better jot this down, too."
  Arthur: "OK."
  Old Man: "It goes, 'Lord, lord, lord...' It's best to put that bit in, just in case. You can never be too sure. 'Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Amen...' And that's it. Most of the trouble people get into in life comes from missing out that last part.'" - Old Man Oracle's prayer given to Arthur Dent

• The oracle hit himself on the thumb and began speaking in tongues. - The oracle as he is hammering a nail

• Old woman Oracle: "Can you help me pull out the photocopier?"
  Arthur: "What?"
  OWO: "The photocopier. It's solar-powered, but I have to keep it in the cave so the birds don't shit on it." 

***HHGTTG Radio Series***

• ...and he would then enter the long dark teatime of the soul. - (about Wowbagger, the Infinitely Prolonged)

• "Where God Went Wrong", "Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes", "Who is this God Person Anyway?" and "Well That About Wraps It Up for God". - The four books on God by 'Oolon Colluphid'

• [I've been] In a deep dark hole. I climbed out because I started to like it too much. ~Marvin

• It can be very dangerous to see things from someone else's point of view without the proper training.