Gran's gone -they all are...
...and i'm in a flat, wasting oxygen and money and ruining everything i go near...if i can even get out the door which, for some reason since gran breathed her last i've been a bit over-the-top with positivity about going outside the flat without help and believed i could do it...
...and i can't...
and i just don't want to be here....but how could i be so selfish and put them through another funeral?
i'm such a bitch
What a completely selfish heartless bitch
People die from terrible things constantly and i am FIGHTING to not destroy myself...
Idiot
i hate myself more than you could imagine...
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