damnit i was doing good

and now it's all wasted.

i KNOW every moment's a new moment and i can start again...
but i'll only waste it eventually...
i waste everything...

food, electricity, water, heat, clothes, shoes, medication, oxygen.

i'm a waster. an absolute waste of space.

i’m fat
i’m ugly
i hate everything
i want to die

i wish i could just die already
end the pain
stop feeling so useless and
stop being such a burden
i wish i could just hang the rope up and let go

...but i can’t
...and that kills me

so
i've cut,
everyone thinks i’ve stopped
but i’m a liar
i'm deceitful and manipulative

i don't deserve my family 
i don’t deserve friends
i don’t deserve anything