Panic meltdown

Ok, MAJOR meltdown occurring...

I don't want to TRIGGER anyone but I do not know what to do.

The services in Glasgow all changed and some people were given the crisis numbers and others, not -I was not...

Been bumbling along...

Managed to switch my brain off just to get from one appointment to the next but now I'm ...I don't know. And I don't know what to do. I called the only number I have and I am getting an emergency call on the 3rd of Feb...??!

Is it JUST ME or is that forever away??

The police are swarmed about outside because a 21year old was murdered on Saturday. Was trying to hold it together but the to licensing people came to door and are dressed very similar to police. 

I knew the boy...ok, young man... It was his brother that was my shadow because he was partially sighted and really struggling with bullies...i was working -they were kids in group. I'm having all sorts of flashbacks now.

Heart is pounding and in ears and temples.

I can't go out.

I fought outside for a long time but now??????!

And now this tv man barging way into flat and being rude?? 

I don't want to be in these flats.

I can't even think about how I could move (physically I'd need to rely on others) and now I'm more melty than ever. And I don't even know where to start or how...

I've been sick now.

This is just dreadful.

Nothing brings that poor boy back to his brother and I'm just being a whiny idiot.