Crawling

Ok, so most of you know the score...there's not really one condition in anyone...we are INDIVIDUALS (I feel like watching The Life of Brian when I have to remind myself of this fact!LOL!...got to keep on keeping on somehow, right?!)...

Aaaanyway -I have a bunch of diagnonsenses and I have had THREE FACE2FACE interviews with the DWP in the last year... the last one did not tell me what it was for, merely a place and time... my mental health was always a bit erratic but 7 years of being told to try to "break through the pain"? Even with a CRPS diagnosis added to my mix?? They see a blue and puffy foot and STILL try to tell me it's because I'm not willing to try harder??? Argh!! 😤 soooo... I was confused and pretty much at my wits end and on my knees (literally! My wheelchair does not fit in my flat so I crawl on bad days...)

Aaaaaanyhoo, again...

I went to a solicitor first and he came along with my sister and I and he was just lovely I must say! But boy oh boy did he get a shock! There is NO RAMP or flat entrance to the disability assessment building in Cadogan Street, Glasgow...that's right folks! You read it correctly! I am partially sighted and stairs aren't my best buds at the best of times but these are ye olde ULTRA SOLID not-concrete-but-possibly-some-sort-of-titanium-killer-stairs... you know the ones! Crumbly ends from centuries of feet and furniture and goodness knows what...

As I only had my rollator I was REFUSED the portable ramp -it is for wheelchairs only; if I returned to my flat to get my chair I would have been late and turned away (and probably sanctioned and then my mind went into "I'll go into rent arrears and I'll be removed from the flat I'm in"...I have agoraphobia and social anxiety and all sorts of other anxieties...)

People outside the building now took note (FOUR GREAT BIG BURLY BOUNCERS stood, arms crossed and looking at me with utter disgust!)

Some passers by were laughing, two people tried to start a fight with a bouncer -I didn't even know them! I was terrified! This was all within a few minutes, though it felt like much longer!! 

The solicitor carried my rollator, my sister carried my bag with my nebuliser and stayed RIGHT BESIDE ME - I had to CRAWL UP THE 2 SPLIT-LEVEL STAIRS...

I was (and still am) MORTIFIED and panicked and felt like a complete burden and there is NOWHERE TO TURN TO TO EXPOSE THIS!!

It's INSANE!!

I now don't even know how I will manage to go back outside again -I am going to go completely insane in this room alone.

(I think that's what they want...)