I really can't go out...it's beyond what it was... I've managed 2 physio appts and some of my psychiatry ones since my gran passed away...
But this week??... I have weight Managment AND physio AND benefits firm thing to fill in with a stranger who is coming to my flat AND I'm giving a talk on how wheelchair rugby has impacted my life for the better...IN THE FECKING EMIRATES STADIUM ON WED!!!! (There will be an unknown number in attendance-they're just saying that so I don't freak out...) but I am no longer doing ok...once I get to rugby i am...eventually...and I can vent in a better way than hurting me... And in a socially acceptable way...
But, I just feel like I'll be the biggest liar out!!!
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I have, sadly, returned to hurting myself ...
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I have been really rubbish since my gran passing away...pretty much cut myself off from everyone -(including myself); I didn't do it intentionally...
Outside is... Expensive?
Get out to do what though...fall over and cause scenes everywhere?...I just... My head is sooooo beyond fixing I think
I keep needing to sit and am such a snappy bitch to be round...my pain management meds were changed and THE DOCTOR DIDN'T TELL me?!!! The actual fk?!
I'd tried to put up with it thinking I was being a wimp and what not and when we discovered that (only after a bad fall when I couldn't move my arms or neck properly and A&E said "no you're not on that med"...
Mum wanted to go to GP, sis promised she would...just like she said we'd go swimming once a month 5 years ago...we've been twice...
I keep wetting myself and can't be bothered fighting anymore -according to different folks this isn't anything to worry about...
Yeah sitting in towels on the floor or couch or wherever is fine -it happened in a cafe with my sister once... I made my excuses, left and didn't go outside for over a week -and I'm still weary of delivery drivers or using that service for food incase they stick in 'alternatives' etc...
I give up fighting
I'm too much work for anybody I know that
Just "going with the flow" whatever happens does or doesn't...
I'm not bothered ; but I must be or I wouldn't type this...hmmm...
