had the flu -the proper flu...where i spent 5 days in hospital...
i was -and still am- floored...i couldn't even lift my head off my pillow some days
my fingers felt heavy, my wrists like lead and my elbows and knees and ankles like stone...
i got a letter from my therapist to say she'll definitely be off for the foreseeable...
haven't set eyes on her since March?May?...anyway...court looms...some sort of thing called an "intermediate diet" in Jan...then court on 14 Feb...
fuck this shit...last Christmas I think...
get better at moving...pack stuff up -less rubbish for folk to deal with...
I really have the overwhelming urge to slit my wrists but that is soooo ridiculously messy for some poor soul -and everything would be ruined
at least a hanging only leaves some poor soul to find me but much less mess...and things can go to someone else...
